Scales don't make a good Higher Power
A few weeks ago my sponsor told me that she only weighs herself once a month or when she visits the doctor. Up until that point I didn't realise how important the scales had been in my dieting, but the idea of weighing myself only once a month sounded to me like jumping off a cliff and hoping there was a trampoline at the bottom. I don't weigh myself when I'm bingeing, but if I'm dieting then I weigh every day. I associate the scales with good dieting. I agreed to only weigh myself once a week, since that's what all the diet magazines recommend, but so far I haven't even managed to make it seven days. 
When I did go a couple of days without weighing in I found out just how much of a trigger it is. As soon as I jump on the scales my thoughts are either a) I haven't lost enough with all this hard work, might as well binge b)I've lost heaps! now I can binge!!!. My pattern was always to binge after weigh day.
This week I weighed in on Saturday to only lose 300g. I was so disappointed! I wrote to my sponsor and she once again urged me to do the once a month thing. So I've decided to give it a go. I weighed in yesterday and I was down to 86.5kg (190.5lb) That's a weight loss of 1.5kg! Just goes to show how stupid the scales can be! So, as you may notice, I've changed the stats on my blog....
...And this is where they'll stay (if God gives me grace) until the 27th of June. I'm going to try not to weigh myself for a whole month.
The thing is I've been treating the scales like a Higher Power. It is their will and approval I am seeking when I diet, and I rely on their affirmation to validate me, and their support to motivate me. But the scales are just a replacement for my obsession with food. They are also just another way of measuring myself. I have a lot of "measuring" Higher Powers in my life. My marks, my friends, my scales. How about some enabling ones?
Warning: Bible quote
"It is God who works in you to will and to work his good purpose" Philippians 2:13
Alright God...i'm giving you a go.
3 comments:
:) Great blog. I didn't realize how often I weigh myself until I read your blog. I weigh myself every morning that I am not working - so on my days off. Which can sometimes be 2 times a week or 3 to 4 with some holidays, etc. It does consume me as well and you are not alone in this. I do weigh myself to give myself the kick to keep going - and of course I feel disappointed when its only 1 or 2 pounds difference - its a kick in the face actually. I go to bed hungry alot! You would think I would be making more progress. You and I have alot more in common that I thought. :) Keep bloggin - it really helps me. And I will keep checking in! :) Take care.
*hugs* Christine that was a lovely comment and it meant a lot to me. Thank you so much. Thank you for the encouragement with the blogging and for affirming me in my new attempts to be free of food obsession. And thank you for letting me know I'm not alone. I too will continue to check in with your blog
Great awareness, the scales and anything else that we let can become a higher power. thanks for your encouragement too....
((hugs))
Laura
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