Made It Through Today

Good news. I did manage to get pas the Weetbix mini binge and have a relatively normal eating day. I know you guys are probably all thinking that it was only 3 weetbix, and that I shouldn't even have cared.

Well yes and no. It was still definitely beyond a normal breakfast. But, more importantly, in the past it would not have ended there. Today it did end there and that is amazing! Thankyou God.

But I'm scared to celebrate anything that happens in OA. I'm so frightened this could be a short-lived victory. I've had those in the past. One Day at a Time.

*Warning the next section mentions the Christian church and the Bible.*

My spiritual life is very mixed up right now and I am a fair way off completing steps two and three. Whilst I once would have been sure, I now no longer know who the God of my understanding is, or whether I want to give my life over to him.

But I did go to church today. I'm not sure whether this breaks the OA traditions to talk about it. But there were some passages in the Bible reading that I thought were interesting. I decided to share them in an edited version to show how they are relevant to whatever God (meaning God of one's own understanding) people believe in. If you want to read the original click here:

"the former spread the message about God out of selfish ambition.... supposing that they can stir up trouble for me... But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, God's message is spread. And because of this I rejoice."

I know that people say addiction is a disease of self-centredness and our recovery relies on becoming other-people-centred and God-centred. I thought this was an amazing example of selflessness. The speaker said that we would all expect the writer to criticise and rail against these people who were knifing him in the back while he was in jail for his beliefs and I knew that I would certainly have gloried in doing so. I would have become eaten up with hatred and felt really angry. But the writer of this passage is so focussed on being of service to his Higher Power that their cruelty rolls off him like water off a duck's back. I thought this was a great example of how selflessness can lead to a wonderful serenity. Wouldn't it be lovely to be able to say, "This person is doing an unspeakably cruel thing to me when I can least defend myself...but what does it matter in the end? I have better things to worry about"


"so that through my being with you again your joy in God will overflow on account of me."

I thought that this was a beautiful thing to aim for. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be a person who's presence brings people closer to God and gives them overflowing joy?

I hope one day to have the serenity of this person. It seems like an incredibly distant hope now. But one day at a time, one step at a time.

I would really appreciate comments from people about whether they thought it was OK to quote the Bible.