Progress not Perfection

Ok so it has been a fair bit longer than a week since I committed to writing once a week, but at least it hasn't been a month or anything. That's progress. If there's one thing I've learned from this program it's to focus on progress and not perfection. I am the world's worst perfectionist (ok that's a bit of an arrogant claim, perhaps there are others out there who are worse perfectionists than me....nah....impossible)

Trip Away:

Trip away started out very well, and overall I can say that I noticed definite progress, both in comparison to my last few trips away (both pre-program and during recovery) and in my program overall. I managed to stick to my plan for more than half of the conference, which is a huge improvement. I also took a lot of steps to work my program while I was away that I would have thought unthinkable just a month or two ago. Perhaps the most striking were, finding the catering staff at the conference, telling them I had an "eating disorder" and asking them to give me the menu plan for the next few days, and going to a lot of trouble to track down adn attend a face to face meeting in the city where the conference was held.

But towards the end I found myself in a H A L T position (that is I was often hungry due to poor meal routines, I was angry at the people around me coz I'd been with them too long, I was lonely because a lot of people at the conference knew each other better than I did and because I'd met up wtih an old friend at the first half of the conference and then had to say goodbye to her all over again, and I was absolutely and completely dog tired) so things went downhill. This downhill stretch continue until my meeting this Tuesday, and I'm only just getting back on track now. Still, the sorts of "downhill stretches" I'm having these days are not nearly as bad or as long as they used to be, and getting so far through the conference was an achievement.

I'm really learning not to beat myself up these days aren' t I? It's nice... this serenity.

Upcoming:
Well we all know what's coming up...or what's upon us in fact: it's that diet-deadly season of Christmas and New Years. I go away to my grandmother's for a week starting on the 22nd of December. Between now and then I have at least one Christmas party, perhaps two. I am trying to remain abstinent at least until I arrive at my grandma's house. After I get to my grandma's house the odds of me staying abstinent are slim...but that's tomorrow's worry and this program is all about living "One Day at a Time". I will work on having plenty of non-food activities at my Christmas party on Wednesday, and focus on offering the food-plan acceptable Christmas treats I do like (fruit, cold ham, baked vegetables) and the unhealthy ones I don't like (anythign containing raisins/currants/sultanas, pudding, fruit mince pies). Anyway hope to update you guys soon (ok well nobody is reading me anymore, but hey, a girl can pretend) See you all later