What a day!

Right now 'm nervous and hungry because I am going to a dance club party and they will have FREE PIZZA. I feel a real compulsion to overeat. I am taking the following steps:
1. I am posting on my blog about it
2. I am going ot buy something to eat before i get there...perhaps something from subway
3. I am not going to ahve even one slice of Pizza. I'm not sure that Pizza is a major trigger food for me, but I know that this situaiton is a major trigger for me
4. I've gone online to chat with someone
5. I am going to pray. This will be a big step forward for me, because it will mean I am finally turnign to a HP, which is something I haven't been willing to do so far. Well I am going to hope so.

I have always justified my overeating in financial terms. For example, I always used to buy a whole family-sized block of chocolate instead of a single bar because it was just so much better value for money to pay $3 for 500g than to pay $2 for a hundred grams. But if food is being offered for free, as it usually is at parties, where it is acceptable to eat larger amouts for pleasure, I feel a serious compulsion to binge which I can rarely resist. This is exacerbated by the fact taht I am feeling arrogant at the moment because I lost 12 kg, and sad as well because I embarssed myself publicly today. I think it is a cross between feeling like I have a right to binge and a responsibility to...because hey, free food doesn't come along eveyr day. For some reason it never occurs to me that by feeding my disease I was eventually going to cost myself even more money. And it doesn't occur to me that it's my responsibiltiy not to deplete the communal pool. It's

By the way, . Today I went to Dance Club and performed in front of heaps of people at the uni bar! Yesterday I had rehearsal and I danced for 4 1/2 hours (including very long warm up/down sessions) I haven't performed dancing in public since I was a little girl going through my ballet phase (that ended about the age of 8 or 9)