Meetings, Laryngitis, and a scale that just won't move
On Tuesday this week I went to my first face to face meeting in a long time. I'm very proud of myself because it is very difficult for me to get there.
It was pouring rain, 
there was a storm warning,
I needed to take a 1 hour bus ride
and then call a taxi to get there,
and I was pretty angry at the local leader...
so I had lots of excuses not to go. But I did go, God rewarded me by making sure that there was actually someone there who could offer me a lift to the next one. That means I might actually be able to go to face to face meetings regularly. Yeah! The face to face leader knew that there were people who came from my direction, and I knew there were too. But she didn't think it would be fitting to give them my phone number and ask them to give me a lift. In any case, the meeting was good.
I personally, find online meetings just aren't the same. I get distracted so that I can't really find peace and serenity, and there's no real sense of community that develops.
But I am angry at God, because now I have laryngitis. My mother took the opportunity to tell me about five times within one hour that I shouldn't have gone out at night. I asked her if she was purposely trying to annoy me for her own enjoyment. She acted all righteous and wounded. Well...it seemed like a logical explanation to me.
Honestly, I have been working so hard and trying my level best at this program, and how does God reward me? With about 3 weeks of cold/flu/laryngitis. I was just getting over one bad cold, and next but I got laryngitis. I've lost heaps of muscle tone because I haven't been able to exercise and I haven't lost any weight because I've been sucking on sugary cough lollies. But what am I supposed to do?
On the bright side, I went to see my doctor for the first time in two months. Didn't he get a pleasant surprise! I had lost 9kg since I last saw him. I took an OA pamphlet and gave it to him and he was interested. So hopefully he'll be able to recommend it to future patients.
The problem is that 84kg is about the lowest I've been since high school, and 16kg is the most I've ever lost. Now my brain just has erected a huge psychic barrier that I've got to get past.
4 comments:
Eeeks, sorry to hear you are feeeling like crap. So happy for you to have a loss like that at the doctors office -I have my yearly coming up mid July - hoping my doctor sees some great changes too! Take care and I hope you are feeling better real soon.
Awww pookie, it really sucks that you've been so sick. And that meeting leader sounds mean. I know what you mean about online meetings, I like them, but I can't always get in the groove. Maybe when I'm home I can get to a face to face meeting. Also I know you can do it. Keep checkin in ok?
I know what you mean about mental barriers! the lowest I ever got to0 was about 205, and that was by the skin of my teeth, being 220 now I keep waiting for my loss to stop. If I ever manage to get down to close to that again I think passing the 200lb mark is going to be a really big jumop for my mind as well as my body.
Hey. Thanks so much for your comments on my blog. I guess not everything that works for me will work for all - Thanks for really opening my eyes to the thoughts of OA. I hadn't looked at it from your point of view. I guess I take advantage of the fact that I can only allow myself one day a week where I eat what I want (within reason of course) and not continue on with the next day, and the next. My mindset has changed and I feel in control - I really hope that you can make this work. You are so worth it. We are all on the same journey - but now I realize that everyone has different bumps along the way. I gain alot of strength from fellow bloggers - and I really appreciate you stopping by with support! THANKS AGAIN.
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