Return of the Jelly-belly:
Hello everybody. Yes I’m back. I know it’s been a looooooooong time. But I sort of relapsed/went into a depressed period and I’ve been hiding from everything to do with OA. I was having some troubles with uni stuff and things went downhill from there. I know that hiding from the cure and isolating oneself is not the most sensible solution when life gets out of control, but who said that COE’s were sensible?

I’ve been coming back to the program in stages., starting with just trying to keep in regular contact with my sponsor. It’s so easy for me to take on too much and then give up. But this blog really has to be an important part of my program. It’s where I use the writing tool. Being an incorrigible approval-seeking, people-pleaser the idea of other people reading this gives me the incentive to write that an ordinary journal wouldn’t.

Thank you and big hugs to all who expressed concern for me while I was away.

Where it’s at now:
In terms of my program. I’m still on step 2, but I’m seeing some progress there. I’m praying more and I’m also starting to honestly face up to some of the big spiritual questions that have been bothering me lately but which I've been sweeping under the carpet. I know that being on step two after 6 months seems like very slow progress. But I’ve never been the type to do things by halves. I always do things slowly and thoroughly.

With regards to weight, I shot back up from 83kg to 86kg, but as I’ve gradually started to embrace the program again the weight has been dropping off again. As a result I am now 80.2kg! I am over the moon about that. I don’t even remember when I was last down that far. For years I’ve been dreaming of being 80…and now I’m there. But the fact I started to put back on should be a warning to me that it is only with the program that I can do this. I still need to lose an absolute minimum of 12kg, preferably 20kg just to be safe, so what with maintaining my loss so far and getting almost as far again it is going to be an uhphill Still 80.2kg!!!!

Once again, a big thankyou to Christine and Sober Chick for checking up on me. I'll try not to disappear again